Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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