Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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