why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Waffles ate my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +10

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops