Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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