How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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