Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Im cute hehehee

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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the WNBA.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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