what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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what did the robot say to the black guy? I'LL BE BACK

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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