Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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