What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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A man did not like this site

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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