What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

2

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops