An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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