Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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