How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

someone called someone else a frog

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops