Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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