Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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someone called someone else a frog

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops