so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

An Irishman walked out of a bar

if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

HAHA HEHE... WOW that was a good one! i didn't get it...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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