What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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Faithful men.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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