Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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A penis walks into a bar..

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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