Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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asdasdasdasd

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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star wars kid

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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