Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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