If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops