What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops