What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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