Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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