A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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