I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

You know what's funnier than 24? 25

What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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