Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

The chickens have become self-aware!

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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