"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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