That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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