Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops