- Anti Joke

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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