What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

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A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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