Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops