Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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