An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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school homewrok

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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