"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

Steve Jobs is alive.

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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