A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

Robin get in the batmobile!

One, two, three, four and five

Justin Bieber

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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