Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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