Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops