Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS i'm about to die

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Lololol

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If you are reading this you are a nerd

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

butt bananan appe aeriugbahrei bviaAETRGNARJEOGBAEROUGBAREOGABINGBIFDUVHR9EH VARVBNF V BAR GABNER UGH 8U78 6 78 C 877 86IHUR T HUGU GHG HU GHUG ERHU; BGIU AHUB HOAU AOH;UGG RJHI NJB NBJ NAJF BNJ NJ IJ BB B NNB UB OH UAERFNSKALDF AHUAWRETFBSUGFHAUNVCHCIWERCFO4F[U940RU320RY4 33 4TVNO34INRT4`UR1C34BT4567=95084651898549+0451467016849=80 .97.8

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops