How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

thumb_up thumb_down -4

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops