What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

Hej Erik och Leo!!

what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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