A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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You are joking right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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