How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

haha

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...