Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A praying mantis is very graceful

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

thumb_up thumb_down -19

asians have slitted eyes lol

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops