what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops