Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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no rasist joks

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Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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