Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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A women left the kitchen.

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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