Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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