What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops