What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops