Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

You know what's funny? A well told joke

How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

Penis-biter

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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