Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

thumb_up thumb_down -8

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the boy's mother say to her daughter when she walked in on her father having sex with her grandmother? The grandfather said "how are you"? He wasn't a part of that fiasco. However I'm sure that whoever saw what was confused and looking for answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops