what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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Good job, son.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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