There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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