The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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drugs.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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