A baby seal walks into a club.

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

what do you call a gay guy? kevin

Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

whats brown and sticky? Doody

Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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