Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

Flowers are colors Love me

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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