A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +5

poo

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A white player in the NBA. Wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock come in

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops