Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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The child was fired from his job.

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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swag

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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