I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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